Colleges and Universities Refusing to Allow Parent/Guardian Involvement is a FERPA Rights Violation
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CONTENT WARNING #1: I would like to mention that I am not a college advisor nor professor, high school guidance counselor, or lawyer. All content posted on my disability advocate/teacher influencer page is for educational purposes only with no intent to provide any professional services. Social media should never be used as a substitute for legal advice. If you have any questions or concerns about college life as a high school or college student or parent/guardian, I highly recommend seeking help from an advisor at the college or university that you or your child is interested in attending or are already enrolled in or your or your child's guidance counselor if in high school. If you suspect that you or your adult child's legal student rights are being violated, I highly recommend seeking help from a lawyer, advocate, and/or education system regulator who is qualified to do so.
CONTENT WARNING #2: Please know that the experiences mentioned in this blog post are based on my own personal experiences with Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) in my college years. They do not reflect the experiences of all college students and professors. No two or more experiences with FERPA rights and college are exactly the same. Commentaries published on my First Former Buddy Club President influencer page represent diverse experiences. If you would like to submit a commentary, please contact me for information. All experiences are welcome here.
Before I attended Bucks County Community College where I graduated with my Associate's Degree in Early Childhood Education PreK-4, I had a hard time at another school due to discrimination against my differences. The university that I was at told me that they were diversity friendly, but unfortunately, they were not as accepting nor accommodating as they promised that they would be. That was why I transferred to Bucks, which was very healing.
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I highly encourage college students of all differences to let their families who they have healthy relationships with be involved in their college lives while also working on building independence since this is a needed life skill. This is especially necessary when it comes to the workplace. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal law that allows parents/guardians to be involved in their adult child's college life with the student's permission. To elaborate, the purposes of FERPA include the following:
- "to ensure that parents have access to their children's educational records and
- to protect the privacy rights of parents and children by limiting access to these records without parental consent
- manage misleading or incorrect information
- both custodial and noncustodial parents have the right to access their children's records, the right to seek to have records amended, and the right to consent to disclosure" (Tourette Association of America N.d.)
Furthermore, "when a student reaches 18 years of age or attends a postsecondary institution, he or she becomes an 'eligible student' and all rights under FERPA transfer from the parent/legal guardian to the student" (Tourette Association of America N.d.). I will speak freely that not all but some college professionals tend to give students and their families a hard time about letting families get involved in their adult children's college lives. It is common for this to happen even with the student's permission and even though it is their legal right. To elaborate, college professionals will say, "It is the student's choice to let their parents/guardians be involved in their college life because they are an adult." Yet, sometimes even when the college student makes the choice to let their parents/guardians be involved in their college life as allowed by FERPA, not all but many college professionals challenge this choice that the student makes. This pushback often shows up as by saying, "Adults need to advocate for themselves" after saying "It is the student's choice"; however, by the student choosing to let or not let their parent/guardian be involved in their college life as the adult, they ARE self-advocating. Again, FERPA is a law. It is a student right and a human right. Student rights are never choices or suggestions for nonstudents to follow or not. Everyone is required to follow FERPA at all times just like any other law. Laws should never be dismissed. Acting like this FERPA right does not exist or as if it is optional to follow is dismissive and even illegal. Violating laws also makes it look like people have something to hide. It is not anyone else's place to say or make this decision legally protected by FERPA except the student. No one whether that is a professor, academic advisor, other college professional, admissions counselor, parent/guardian, or anyone else can coerce the student into letting or not letting their parent/guardian be involved in their college lives. Violation of FERPA can result in serious legal consequences just like all other laws. No one should ever assume that these consequences will not happen.
College students of all differences may face productive conversations as well as difficulty with effective communication in several scenarios. To elaborate, people whose disabilities affect their social-emotional skills tend to struggle with communication more than some other people do. This can appear as not knowing what to say or knowing what to say while being intimidated to say it. This can cause people to go into the freeze or fawn response or struggle to put what they want to say into words. Slow processing speed may also cause them to struggle with appropriate thinking and reacting fast (also known as "thinking on their feet") to people's unpredictable responses in sticky situations. This can look like not knowing the right additional questions or things to say. This can even happen if they had a list of questions and statements that they were able to anticipate. They may even realize or be told that they should have said or asked certain things when it is too late. As a result, they may need to do a complicated series of things in order to access or achieve certain things (also known as "hoop jumping" or "running in circles"). This hoop jumping and running in circles is unnecessary and inaccessible. For example, when I was in my last semester of at a university before transferring to Bucks, I was a part-time student taking 2 classes who also worked part-time. There was a course that I needed to drop for personal reasons. The university
required students to meet their advisors or another professor who was an advisor in their
program to
sign a form in the event that they wanted to drop a course (FYI this was
pre-pandemic). After my then only class of the day, I went to my program’s
office to see if my advisor was there to sign the form. They were not there because they were out in the field observing students, at the university’s
additional campus, or other personal reasons. Okay, fine, not the issue. I
emailed my advisor who had yet to answer. In the meantime, I asked anyone
else who worked there if they knew if my advisor would be in later that day. I also asked which
other professors in my program were advisors available to sign. This
was an attempt to manage my time effectively; however, I was
replied with lots of “I don’t know”s, ignored, or sent to the
wrong locations on campus. I even tried calling people
myself; however, the person either went to voice mail, or I was hung up on. I spent my whole day going back and forth between campus
buildings and offices and making phone calls. So much time was wasted causing me to get
no homework or studying done. At this point, I had no choice but to have my
mother get involved. My mother who also works a paid full-time job called my program’s office. When they answered, she called them out for how this put the cherry on top
(final annoyance that added to an already bad experience) of how unhelpful they
had been to me during my whole time as a student there (now this?!). My mom demanded that they find someone to sign. This resulted in my program’s office
immediately finding someone; however, when I went to their office, they shamed me for having my mother call, dropping a course, searching for
my advisor, and choosing to transfer. All of this hoop jumping and running in circles that I went through all day was unnecessary though. I should not have had to spend my whole
day searching for someone, especially since it prevented me from doing my
homework and studying, which is one of the main essential parts of education. Did
I also mention that this person was one of the reasons why I wanted to transfer
because of past things that they and other people who were supposed to be certified teachers did?
College life should not have to be this way. Not all but some authority figures can be dismissive of the needs of students of all differences instead of providing necessary support. By the same token, not all but some authority figures may have the misconception that people –– regardless of their differences –– disagreeing with them is defiance or disrespect. Misconceptions about student's communication is especially common among college students whose disabilities affect their communication skills if they say the wrong thing. College level authority figures may also believe that students or these third parties are challenging their authority because they do not like to have their authority challenged. As a result, there can be an imbalance of power that makes it difficult to deal with an uncooperative authority figure. All of these different scenarios can be very unpredictable for anyone, especially if they are a young adult in or outside of the disability community. So, sometimes students of all differences need another adult that they are used to to consult with and/or assist them for additional support when it comes to self-advocacy. In fact, according to an Edutopia article that I read about supporting students in the disability community, "Involving families strengthens the connection between home and school providing students with the consistency and encouragement that they need to thrive" (Sewell 2025).
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For that matter, college students should sign legal permission to let their families who they have healthy relationships with be involved in their college lives just in case such concerns arise. While independence is absolutely a very important and needed life skill, college and adulting are hard for everyone, especially in the first years. Overall, parents/guardians are experienced adults and some of them went to college too. Since college students are used to these safe adults and know them more, they may know how to be supportive along the way along with the people at school. In fact, research studies have shown that the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for working memory, decision making, planning, reasoning, personality expression, self-regulation, moral behavior, problem solving, and anticipating and adjusting to events in the environment, does not fully develop until twenty-five years old. So, college students can still benefit from guidance for learning and applying that independence provided by parents/guardians as they are still maturing and learning life skills in the beginning of adulthood. They can do this by attending meetings in-person, virtually, or by phone calls between their adult child student and college professionals. They should also use fading when it is developmentally appropriate to do so by teaching their adult child functional communication skills even if it means telling them what to say. For example, if I was unsure about what to say when sending or replying to emails or in meetings with professors, I have always asked my parents, "What should I say?". Then, I would say those things in those interactions with my professors without my parents present. I also prepare agendas with lists of things to say and ask, which I still use in the workplace. By parents/guardians serving as additional advocates at meetings with their adult child in college life, they are also modeling effective communication and problem-solving skills. This can be especially helpful when it comes to assertiveness, advocacy, word finding skills, and thinking on one's feet.
It is okay to still ask for and receive help to continue to grow independence skills even after twenty-five years old. My academically gifted brother and I who are very independent still ask our parents for their opinions and support about many things. Help is also not bad, fixing, curing, for the weak, or anything to stigmatize. Help is also not the same as babying nor doing things for people that they are currently capable of doing with guidance. Help is asking for and receiving support. Anyone needs to be taught how to do any skills in order to be independent. Adult skills do not just appear the moment a person turns eighteen years old or whenever people want them to be able to do them. They develop overtime with consistent and structured exposure. To quote the American poet named Alex Elle, "People can be independent and still need help."
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My parents and I were very distraught about what the previous university that I attended before Bucks put me through and I was very busy student who worked part time at the moment with time management challenges, easy fatigue, and burnout as a young adult. I often tease my mother that she is like my secretary with all of the phone calls that she makes for me when I unable to do so myself in the interest of time. My mother called Bucks to talk to someone from the program that my major was for. My mother was connected to a professor who is actually a well-known professional in the Special Education field. This professor was very supportive and validating of my mother's additional support with my legal consent. My parents have always been very supportive of my and my brother's school lives. Most of my professors at Bucks and my parents were very supportive when I chose to handle school situations independently or with additional support from my parents.
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Citations
1. Sewell, A. (5 Mar. 2025). Supporting Students With Special Needs. https://www.edutopia.org/article/supporting-students-special-needs
2. Tourette Association of America. (N.d.). The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). https://tourette.org/resource/family-education-rights-privacy-act-ferpa/
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