The Importance of Showing Respect for Other People While Advocating for Your Own Respect
CONTENT WARNING: The religious/spiritual opinions on this blog post are mine based on my own experiences and do not reflect the opinions and experiences of everyone. Commentaries published on my First Former Buddy Club President influencer page represent diverse viewpoints. If you would like to submit a commentary, please contact me for more information. All perspectives and experiences are welcome here.
Typically, in most parts of life, there are multiple levels of hierarchy also known as pecking order or power of authority. For example, in educational settings, there are students, families, student teachers, paraprofessionals, assistant teachers, lead teachers, department heads, and administrators. Colleges and universities also have students, some families who are involved in their adult children's school lives, professors, Deans, Vice Presidents, Presidents, and plenty of other higher-ups. Each position's level is in the same order as described. In other words, just like the Israelites were expected to obey God, everyone has someone who they are required to obey and show respect for at work as their boss. This expectation also applies to minors and adult children when it comes to their parents/guardians, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Not only are they expected to obey; they are also expected to show respect for their elders.
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Throughout my whole life, my parents have taken teaching my brother and I about the importance of showing respect for authority very seriously. As a result of this exposure, while I am not a perfect person, I take following and educating others about this social expectation very seriously as well. Whenever I witness people disrespecting authority, I typically empathize with the person who is being mistreated. My empathy usually causes me to think, This is very frustrating. That must be very hurtful for the parent/guardian, educator, or higher-up who is being treated that way. My parents have educated my brother and I about how showing respect for authority, especially applies at home, school, and workplaces. In other words, 'the honor you owe your father and mother is comparable to the honor you owe the Almighty'" (Talmud Kiddushin 31). They have also educated us about the consequences of disrespecting and disobeying authority. For example, "for when you mistreat and dishonor your parents, you also destroy something within yourself" (pg. 99, Silverman & Silverman 2018). In other words, if people mistreat their parents and other people of all walks of life, it will most likely cause negative natural and logical consequences. These negative consequences can leave the person who is responsible for what happened feeling miserable. My parents have also taught us that it is valid to stand up for ourselves. This includes when anyone in any position mistreats us as long as we maintain calmness and respect. This is because showing respect for people no matter how they treat others shows positive character and maturity. This is also important to do since there is a way to be assertive without being mean. Advocating for your own respect is also self-respect and setting boundaries because no one should lower this standard for anyone or anything. Maintaining respect during difficult situations is also being the bigger person.
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[Image Description: "SHOW RESPECT EVEN TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE IT; NOT AS A REFLECTION OF THEIR CHARACTER BUT AS A REFLECTION OF YOURS. -DAVE WILLIS" in center-aligned white letters on a black letter board with beige wooden bordering. The letter board is also laying on a red, yellow, blue, and purple quilt.]
In all twenty-two years of my education and fourteen years of work experience, I have encountered many respectful authority figures and team members. Unfortunately, however, I have also encountered many not-so-nice authority figures and team members, especially mean teachers and workplace bullies. While how these people treated me will always stay with me, I move forward every day by not letting what happened control my life completely. As a result of leaving the workplaces where these past toxic professionals appeared (and did not exactly exhibit professionalism), they have not been in my life ever since. I have never spoken to any of them in a very long time and as a bullying prevention advocate, I do not wish to have a relationship with either of them. While I have no desire to re-connect with any of them, I do wish them well though. I have this same thought of my bullies and not-so-nice teachers from childhood, and the toxic former friends from my adulthood. This is because my parents and I have always had spiritual mindsets in certain situations. We support what is the right thing to do versus the wrong thing to do at all times. Even if we dislike someone who has caused either of us great pain, we have empathy for them when they experience hardships. Even if we strongly dislike someone and we see them being treated wrongfully, we believe that anyone who treats them badly is out of line. My parents and I are also very accepting of people of all differences. If we dislike someone, it has nothing to do with their disabilities, struggles, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, identities, etc. Our reason for disliking them is based on the way that they treat us and other people. For example, in regards to divorced and separated parents, I believe that "if one's mother is divorced, the same honor is due to both parents and neither takes precedence" (Talmud Kiddushin 31a). So, if a couple divorces or separates because of abuse, the abusive partner's actions were out of line just like a staff member or administrator who emotionally abuses other staff, administrators, and/or students is out of line; however, I also wish them the same health and safety as anyone else without having contact with each other.
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- Happy World Down Syndrome Day 2024: Free Will to Be Kind
- Educators Need to Show More Faithfulness to Students, Families, and the Education System
- Bullying Prevention Month 2023: Adult Bullying is Not Talked About Enough and Can Be Just as Traumatic or Sometimes Worse Than Childhood Bullying
- Quality of Influential Content and Friends Over Quantity of Followers and Friends
- College Tips for Students in the Disability Community as Told by a College Alumni and Advisory Board Member Who Stutters
- Infant/Toddler Teachers Need to be Valued More as Teachers
While respecting authority is important, it is common for elders and higher ups to abuse this social expectation through imbalance of power. I am not saying that it is okay to mistreat people; I am saying that it is also unfortunate that people will retaliate against others who mistreat them. As a teacher, I am well-aware of the fact that there are several different reasons for all behaviors. One of the common reasons for challenging behaviors that I have observed is that sometimes students of all ages and abilities will retaliate against educators who initially mistreated them. It is also common for not all but many teachers to mistreat other teachers, paraprofessionals, other employees working in educational settings, and families. Not all but many administrators also do this to other administrators and people in the same previously stated positions. Not all but many parents/guardians and other elders do the same thing to minors and adult children as well. As a result, it is also common for not all but many students to mistreat their educators, parents/guardians, elders, and/or other authority figures if they see other people mistreating them. Educators, parents/guardians, and other hierarchies of power are supposed to serve as role models for their students, children, and other people who are expected to respect and obey them. In addition, there are people who try to treat their peers and acquaintances with respect without it being reciprocated back to them. To reiterate, however, showing respect for people no matter how they treat them exhibits positive character and maturity. It is also common for respect to be reciprocated if people try to show it. "Honor your father and mother that your days may be long upon the land that your Lord is giving you" (Exodus 20:12). In other words, the expected promise as a result of trying to show respect for your father, mother, and other people is reciprocation. In conclusion, it is important for all individuals to treat everyone with respect no matter who they are because it is the moral thing to do.
I have always taken being kind to everyone very seriously and been encouraged to do so by my parents. It is the result of their positive spiritual influence that I was able to come up with my own values independently. I have experienced struggles just like everyone does because I am human. I did not choose to have my current and previous struggles; however, as a result of my individual experiences and the influence of my parents, I know that I have the free will to be kind. Much like having certain personal struggles (financial concerns, disabilities, trauma, etc.) are not an easy road, the same applies to the effort and patience required to be kind. I also must use my critical thinking skills to understand how to put those values into practice. These essential life skills can also be developed when people receive the right support.
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