Quality of Influential Content and Friends Over Quantity of Followers and Friends
[Image Description: "QUALITY" is in center-aligned violet text above a center-aligned straight black line. There are several people hugging emojis scattered above "QUALITY." "QUANITY" is in center-aligned violet text below the line. There are several melon and white Instagram like notification symbols with a white heart on the left and "1" in right-aligned white text, people of different races and genders holding hands emojis, and people silhouette emojis scattered below "QUANTITY." My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image with "FIRST FORMER BUDDY CLUB PRESIDENT" in center-aligned italicized black font overlapping an enlarged light blue heart with several small red hearts and a light blue background in the background of the enlarged heart.]
One of the most notable stories from the Bible is the story of Moses. In the story of Moses, God writes the Ten Commandments on two tablets of stone. Then, God gives the tablets to Moses on Mount Sinai to serve as written expectations for moral behaviors. The purpose of the Ten Commandments was to teach the Israelites how to be respectful and trustworthy of God. The fifth commandment states the following: "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox or his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's" (Exodus 20:15). In other words, when people covet, they really want to have something with strong desire and break one or more other commandments to get what they want. For example, if someone is jealous of someone's friendship or relationship with someone, they may convince one of those people to not talk to the other person anymore. They may convince multiple other people to not talk to that person anymore for self-absorbed gains as well. Another example is that someone may want items or privileges that someone else has and they may steal those things to get them. There are several other ways that coveting can occur in other situations as well.
In 2017, I launched my disability advocate influencer page called First Former Buddy Club President on Instagram and Facebook. I post about my volunteer experiences, aspiring Special Education teacher journey, college life, and other disability advocate content. I also post other teacher and family friendly content along with uploading one blog post every Saturday or Sunday. While there are many cons about the social media world, social media can be used for positive purposes as well. I started my influencer page to make a difference in the world and spread positivity. While I post a decent amount of my own content, I also repost the content of other social media influencers and organizations who share the same niche as me. I do this to share and be inclusive of diverse perspectives, ideas, and facts. Overall, my content is posted to educate other social media users about awareness, acceptance, and inclusion of the disability community. It is also meant to educate other educators about the education field.
Long before I became a social media influencer, I joined the social media world by getting a Facebook when I was thirteen years old in 2012. Then, I joined Twitter (now called X) and Snapchat when I was fifteen years old in 2013 and provided my influencer page followers with exclusive access to viewing my Snapchat stories. Next, I joined Instagram when I was sixteen years old in summer 2014. Numbers have always been a competitive part of social media for all users whether they are influencers or not. Numbers of followers. Numbers of likes. Numbers of comments. Numbers of shares. Numbers of views. So, sometimes I am envious of the number of followers, likes, comments, shares, and views that other social media influencers and users have in comparison to my influencer platforms. This is especially true after I got rid of and blocked many followers back in June to remove toxic people from my life. I thought that these people were my friends until they showed their true colors by starting to treat plenty of other individuals and I wrongfully for a while and eventually exhibited betrayal. There were also bystanders, elitists, and people who were all about oneself along with so many other types of drama and toxicity that started to show up. Actions like these can also be described as "wild, immoral, self-indulgent lifestyles" and egocentric, which is known as the "ego-self" also known as one's "lower self" according to Buddha (pg. pg. 237, 239, & 241, Silverman & Silverman 2018). The ableism was also very narrow-minded and "self-contained, disconnected from the whole, and limited by societal definition" (pg. 239, Silverman & Silverman 2018).
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While I have no regrets getting rid of any toxic people from my past, losing people (even if they deserve to be gone because they were indeed toxic) can be very lonely. Now, all I have left in my in-person social circle are my small family and a few friends who I stay in touch with on social media. So, sometimes I think, I am so relieved that I got rid of toxic people from my life. At the end of every day, I really wish that I had people outside of my family to talk to about so many things on my mind though. When it comes to my number of followers, I have also always thought, I really wish that my number of followers would go up and that I got a bunch of likes, comments, shares, and views like so many other social media influencers; however, I remind myself that numbers are just numbers and quality over quantity is key to being an influencer and friendships. To elaborate more, influencers actually do not need a certain number of people in their in-person or online/virtual audience to be influential. Anyone can influence people on and off social media no matter how many followers they have and likes, comments, shares, and views they get. This is also true when influencers guest speak in a room of only ten or less people instead of a crowd. It is absolutely praiseworthy when people go viral on social media for their influential content and if people make an influential impact on only one or a few people, that is enough too. True influencers also do not do their influential work for the numbers or just to look good; true influencers do their work for selfless and genuine purposes. In other words, to quote the Book of Luke from the Bible, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for life does not consist in the abundance of possessions (Luke 12:15). In addition, I remind myself that I deserve much better than toxic people and that true friends do not befriend others and build and maintain any types of relationships for popularity; true friends do these things because they truly love and care about those people. In fact, popularity is actually not that big of a deal nor important. I live by two affirmations when it comes to building all types of relationships. These affirmations are "Surround yourself with the right people" and "Your circle should want to see you win. Your circle should clap loudly when you have good news. If not, get a new circle."
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So, instead of being jealous of the number of friends and all types of relationships that people have along with other people's numbers of followers, likes, comments, shares, and views, people should be giving and showing unconditional love to all of their loved ones. According to the Bhagavad Gita, "The person who is free from egotism, violence, arrogance, and the covetous desire to possess things or control people, is at peace with oneself and with others" (Bhagavad Gita 18:53). In other words, while rewards are absolutely something to take pride in, true influencers should not expect anything in return for their good deeds because they are enough without them. This can be spiritually expressed best from the following quote from the Book of Luke in the Bible, "Give and it will be given unto you full measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing will be put into your heart" (Luke 6:38). Also, "God's love flows into" people the more that they show love for others; to elaborate more, "the more you bring God's peace to others, the more will God's peace flow into you. This is an immutable law. It's a mistake to covetously hold on to heavenly blessings; they are meant to be shared. The more you share the blessings of love, joy, peace, gratitude, and contentment, the more will these heavenly blessings flow into you" (pg. 238, Silverman & Silverman 2018). In addition, no one is responsible for other's people's happiness. While it is absolutely true that other people's actions may have an impact on our moods, at the end of the day, it is each individual's responsibility to take care of how they react to difficult situations and all situations.
If you are affected by toxic friendships and/or other toxic relationships, you are not alone and there is hope. If you or someone you know needs support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or text "HOME" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 if you live in the USA or text "CONNECT" to the Crisis Text Line at 686868 if you live in Canada.
You can also visit The Mighty's suicide prevention resources page by clicking on this link: https://themighty.com/suicide-prevention-resources/
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Citations
1. Silverman, R. & Silverman, S. Rise Above It: Spiritual Development for College Students. (2018).
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