Fair does not always mean equal
DISCLAIMER: All of the names in this blog post have been changed to pseudonyms. This is necessary to protect people's identities.
Fair does not always mean equal. Fair means equity, which is making sure that everyone has what they need to be successful while recognizing that everyone has different needs, challenges, and abilities. Everyone cannot be given all of the same exact things. Everyone needs to be given some different things based on their unique needs. Giving every person all of the same exact things would mean that no one's needs were being met because every person has different needs.
For example, some students in the disability community might need someone to read to them if they are still in the early reader stage due to their severe to profound difficulty with identifying written words, slow processing speed, low Intelligence Quotient (IQ), and/or age; however, there are other people who are able to independently identify written words and just have difficulty with reading comprehension as part of their disabilities. Reading the words to someone who just has difficulty with reading comprehension will not solve this problem for them whereas providing them with specific explanations about what certain words mean could be a solution.
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Another example is that some adults in the disability community need 24/7 supervision if they frequently elope, are nonverbal, have seizures, or other severe to profound behavioral, cognitive, and/or medical needs. Adults in the disability community who experience these challenges as part of their disabilities would probably be eligible to belong in independent living facilities, assisted living facilities, homes, or adult daycares; however, there are other people who are able to live on their own in typical housing but do not know how to cook, do laundry, pay bills, and other daily living skills due to a lack of exposure to learning how to do these things or need for specific instructions. Moving an adult in the disability community who just does not know how to do certain daily living skills due to a lack of exposure to learning how to do these things or needs specific instructions for how to do so into an independent living facility or group home would not solve this problem. Enrolling them in an adult daycare would also not solve this problem. Trying to teach them how to build these daily living skills a chance with as much specific instructions as possible would be a possible solution. Hiring someone to teach them preparation for independent living in typical housing may also be a solution.
A third example is some people's IQs are so low as part of their disabilities that they are incapable of driving or paralysis of course prevents a person from driving and require relying on transportation services; however, this would not solve the problem for capable drivers in the disability community when slow processing speed and poor working memory become factors in their experience of learning to drive. Some other people in the disability community are capable of driving adapted cars if they are in the physical disability community or can earn their driver's license and learn to drive a typical car alone with specific instructions and repetition. In today's world, many driving schools have some Driver's Education instructors who specialize in teaching people in the disability community how to drive.
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A fourth example is that some students who are nonverbal, have limited verbal communication skills, or severe to profound difficulty with verbal articulation may need to bring an iPad with the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) installed on it to school and out in public to be able to talk; however, people who are verbal with none of these developmental concerns do not need to use PECS. This scenario is especially valid if it is in an elementary or middle school or workplace that prohibits usage of electronics with the exception of assistive technology like this during the school or workday. FYI students should be informed that when iPads with PECS installed on them are being used during the school day, they are a "communication tool" and "not a toy" to be used by only that individual user in need of it. They also do not give the individual users a free pass to surf the internet whenever they feel like it during class or on the job except during breaks.
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Equity also means providing different support that each student needs to succeed. Needs and support do not look the same for everyone. Opportunities also cannot look the same for everyone. Opportunities need to be equitable, realistic, and sensible. Not everyone in the disability community can meet the requirements to work certain jobs or work jobs at all. Employees need to be able to do essential functions that serve each job's purpose. For example, it is not realistic to hire a person who needs to use a wheelchair or who is fully blind, deaf, or hard of hearing as a firefighter, police officer, or for them to serve in the military. This is because they need to be able to run and have their eyes on their surroundings at all times for the purpose of situational awareness for health and safety reasons to protect themselves and others. Some people with Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) may also not be able to work these jobs due to their difficulties with paying attention preventing them from being able to perform these essential functions while some other people in the ADHD community may be capable of working these jobs by hyper focusing. Firefighters and police officers also need to be able to walk up and down steps in certain emergency situations to save people since elevators are not able to be used in the middle of a fire.
Not everyone in the disability community can meet the requirements to get accepted into and graduate from college. Additionally, not everyone in the disability community can meet the requirements to get accepted into and graduate from certain college programs while still capable of attending and graduating from other college programs. For example, someone with dyscalculia would not be able to be an engineer, medical doctor, or nurse while capable of becoming a teacher, psychologist, mental health counselor, social worker, speech-language pathologist, lawyer, police officer, detective, firefighter, or performer. In addition, medical doctors, nurses, surgeons, dentists, and engineers need to have a certain level of knowledge about mathematics and science. They cannot be okay, good, or decent at math and science; they have to be really good at math and science. People who struggle with higher level math, basic math, and/or math at all as part of dyscalculia, an intellectual disability, and/or other disabilities will not be able to work these jobs. In fact, it also does not make any sense to enroll students with dyscalculia, low IQs, or anyone who struggles with math in general education, honors, and Advanced Placement (AP) classes. This is because students need to be highly skilled in these subject areas to meet the enrollment requirements for these courses. So, it would not be realistic to hire someone who struggles with math as part of these disabilities for these jobs or enroll them in these classes whereas someone in or outside of the disability community with gifted math skills may be able to have these opportunities.
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Everyone deserves to get what they realistically need and help and support each other. Help also does not mean doing things for someone or for the weak. Help means showing people how to do things according to their learning styles so that they can learn how and be able to do it themselves, such as giving them specific verbal and visual directions. Help is also giving people what they need to be able to do something themselves, such as providing a step stool to a person with dwarfism so that they can reach stuff or extra time to complete tests and assignments to people with slow processing speed. Help is providing accessibility. Also, no one owes anyone an explanation for their needs. They do not need to explain why they need something if they do not want to while the option of being open should always be welcomed. In fact, no one can make anyone explain or not explain their needs. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) provides every American in the disability community with the federal legal right to choose to open up about their disability or disabilities or not and who to open up and not open up to even if people do not agree and no one needs to agree. ADA is also a law, and all laws are required to follow. Following laws is never a choice and not following laws can result in severe legal consequences. Laws and choosing not to open about anything are also boundaries and respect for boundaries needs to be shown at all times.
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Never assume what anyone's needs, challenges, or abilities are. Not all needs and challenges are obvious just by looking at or watching people. You may think that someone does not have a certain need, challenge, or ability; however, you could be incorrect. All of this is especially true when it comes to the needs, challenges, and abilities of people in the disability community.
For example, recently, the sixth graders at the school that I teach at attended an end of school year grade level field trip to a roller-skating rink. I used to go to the same roller-skating rink when I was a child as well. I accompanied all four of the sixth graders in my class attended for additional adult support. It is easy to assume that people in the disability community are unable to roller skate due to their common difficulties with gross motor skills; however, one of my students mentioned that they go to this same roller-skating rink every weekend. furthermore, my other students did extremely well including the student who I was a Personal Care Assistant (PCA) for this school year. Before assuming that Hakeem was unable to roller skate, I encouraged his strong interest in putting on the roller skates. The rink also had skate mates, which basically work similarly to a walker while roller skating. About half of the students of all abilities in the whole sixth grade who attended were using the skate mates while some others were skating free handed or holding peers' hands. I showed Hakeem the skate mates and explained that plenty of his peers were using them. I politely asked Hakeem if he wanted to use one. Hakeem said, "No thanks." So, I first respected Hakeem's wishes and gave him a chance to skate without it. This was because who knew that maybe Hakeem would be able to skate free handed like some other sixth graders? After all, Hakeem is very athletic and human too. In fact, my department's motto is "Presume competence." Hakeem fell bottom first twice and got right back up both times. This was when I kindly explained to Hakeem, "It would probably be more accessible if you used the skate mate while roller skating for your own safety." Hakeem was very receptive and independently skated away with the skate mate from the carpeted surface to the rink. Well, Hakeem fell on the rink again even with the skate mate; however, he stood right back up each time with someone helping him up. Hakeem had his usual big smile the whole time. Some of the general education teachers were so kind enough to help Hakeem up when he needed it as well. I gave Hakeem the chance to independently skate again once he started using a skate mate. I wondered if maybe Hakeem would be able to do so while holding onto this type of physical support. Plenty of other students in and outside of the disability community in his grade were doing so.
I did not have the motor skills to independently roller skater when I was a sixth grade myself. I often needed to hold onto someone as well. I actually really wish that skate mates were accessible to people of all abilities in my day. I enjoyed roller skating while holding onto someone. It gave me the opportunity to still participate. In fact, it often grew friendships and relationships with my family and teachers. This was because of the closeness and connection; however, I believe that a skate mate would have also given me the opportunity to freedom and independence to skate on my own like my plenty of my other peers had. It has been fifteen years since I last roller skated. So, I honestly do not remember how to do so. I quickly found out that this roller-skating rink allows staff not wearing roller skates be on the rink to support participating students. So, without wearing roller skates, I went on the rink with Hakeem. I held onto both back sides of the skate mate while moving behind Hakeem. Hakeem held onto both front sides of the skate mate. No matter how many times Hakeem fell on the rink, he bravely and joyfully stood right back up each time with help. Hakeem would verbally express, "I'm fine" to everyone who checked in. Hakeem also said that he was having "fun."
Another example was when I was in the second grade at a school that neglected students' social-emotional and academic needs. My parents were house hunting to move my brother and I to a different school for a better education. I was also experiencing some personal challenges due to this trauma that my parents and I were trying to address. One of these challenges was fine motor skills due to lack of exposure to learning. Ava said, "What is that? I've never seen one before" when she saw my gripper. At first, despite knowing that Ava constantly bullied me, I did not think anything of it. There was nothing wrong with asking and never seeing a gripper before. So, I thought, It does not hurt to educate people first. Avoid jumping to conclusions that they are being judgmental in the present moment. When I said, "It helps me hold my pencil better. My mom got it for me because I have a hard time holding a pencil without one." I suspect that Ava tattled for one of three reasons:
- Ava wanted to play with the gripper.
- Ava was a bully who just wanted to start trouble with lack of exposure to being educated about differences.
- Ava was jealous that she did not have a gripper. FYI Ava clearly had academic and social-emotional challenges too that were not being addressed. I remember Ava's mom being VERY unsupportive and disrespectful towards her even when Ava was innocent. Something tells me that Ava's issues were never addressed. This is based on observations that I have made in brief runs with Ava in later years. I never saw Ava experience any fine motor challenges; however, it is highly likely that Ava had them since it is common for these challenges to be co-occurring. Also, any challenges could happen to anyone. Furthermore, statistically, there is a lack of exposure to all types of learning for any students in this type of school. This is due to resource shortages and political stuff. So, students in these schools tend to fall behind in all developmental areas whether they are disabled, traumatized, or not. This is because educational and social-emotional neglect is trauma.
Well, Ava took my gripper from me and said, "Emily has something that she shouldn't have." The teacher, Mrs. Yates, confiscated my gripper and falsely accused me of playing with it. Mrs. Yates said, "You don't need it. No one else is using or needs one. So, neither do you. That's not fair." Well, no one else was using one, but I was and needed to. Plus, how did Mrs. Yates know that none of the other students needed to use a gripper based on this assumption? Mrs. Yates yelled and accused of me of being disrespectful when I tried to self-advocate for my needs and to not be spoken to this way. I took the gripper on my way out of the classroom when Mrs. Yates was not looking. Ironically, when I switched schools for fourth grade, I received Occupational Therapy (OT) right away. The OT, Ms. Benson, was so kind. Did I also mention that Ms. Benson immediately said I needed to use a gripper whenever I wrote? 🧐 Ms. Benson was appalled when I told her this story LOL
I communicated everything that transpired to my mom who can be very outspoken and assertive when people cross boundaries. So, of course, my mom complained to Mrs. Yates and the principal, Ms. Richardson. My mom said, "You had no right to take Emily's gripper. She does need it. Are you an occupational therapist?" Ms. Richardson and Mrs. Yates said, "It is not a big deal. It costs ten cents at the dollar store." My mom replied, "It is my ten cents. Where is my gripper?" Little did they know, I took it, but my mom knew😂 Seriously though, they had no right to take something harmless my mom paid for, that I needed, and was not using inappropriately.
A true teacher would understand that all students have different needs. This school wanted all students to have all of the same things to prevent conflicts. This was even as small as making people wear uniforms to prevent someone from saying something like, "I have Uggs or this or that sweater/outfit and you don't." I will speak freely that making everyone have every single same thing is a ridiculous way to handle this. I am not saying that there should not be rules for materials and clothes. There should be a dress code and bullying prevention protocols in place. What is "not fair" is prohibiting people from using or having something all because other people are not using it. There are not only people who bully peers for not having what they have. There are also people who bully peers for having what they do not have out of jealousy. Teaching children that not everyone can own all of the same things and to be respectful of that is important to teach to both groups.
Some things never change though. Ms. Benson gave me adapted scissors as a person who was left-handed with fine motor challenges. Coincidentally, Ms. Benson labeled the scissors, "OT." I loved how helpful the scissors were so much that I brought them with me to summer camp for bracelet making. While the camp had a strong sense of community and I made so many friends, there will be bullying everywhere, unfortunately. Coincidentally, Karen from my old school was a camper there. I put two and two together that Karen told some of our peers negative things about me out of resentment. My brother also overheard her say some unpleasant things. When Charlotte saw my scissors, she asked what OT means. I did not know to say "occupational therapy" or "fine motor skills" when I was only eleven years old. So, I just said, "Some schools have a program called OT for people to work on hand skills like writing, cutting, etc. The adult who does OT with me says that people who are left-handed like me are supposed to use scissors that look like that." Another girl also named Emily said, "But writing and cutting aren't the same. These scissors are weird because they are so small." Klaire said, "I'm left-handed and I don't use scissors that look like that." These unnecessary statements were made alongside lots of giggles. So, I just stopped talking. I figured it was not worth it to continue talking to thick minded people who would continue to choose showing bias. Did I also mention that my mom complained again because my camp counselors just sat there and did not defend the whole time? 🧐
Moral of all these stories: presume competence. Avoid underestimating the disability community and take positive risks. Try to give individuals in the disability community chances to show their potential. Avoid immediately jumping to conclusions about what their limits and needs may be. Consider necessary potential accommodations and adaptations for the purpose of inclusion and accessibility.
Lastly, sometimes a person in the disability community not needing or being eligible for less accessibility is bittersweet. It can provide a reflection of how far the person has come. It can also become harder to receive access to support for valid reasons. I learned this key takeaway in my college years of being a disability advocate. Everyone is going through something that no one knows anything about, and we never know for sure how strongly our actions and words will impact anyone. So, always be kind.
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