What it Takes to be a True Disability Advocate Further Explained

                
[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There is a big light blue puzzle piece in the top left of the image with a rainbow infinity symbol on the right side. "There is not one way to be a true disability advocate." is in left-aligned dark blue text below the puzzle piece and infinity symbol. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





    I would really appreciate it if more people would acknowledge that there is not one way to be a true disability advocate along with what is required of someone in order to be a true disability advocate. It takes more than just saying, "I am a (true) disability advocate" or being called a "(true) disability advocate" to be a true disability advocate. This along with putting in all the time and effort to do disability advocate work is also not all that it takes to be a true disability advocate. People NEED to SHOW that they are true disability advocates through their character and the values, morals, and ethics that they follow as well.



         
[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There are three heart hand signs in a light skin tone, dark skin tone, and medium skin tone (left to right) center-aligned at the top. "Different ways to be a true disability advocate." is in center-aligned dark blue text below the hand signs. "•Posting, reading, liking, commenting on, and following content advocating for the disability community •Going to events that support disability awareness and inclusion •Making donations and/or hosting fundraisers •Volunteering •Motivational speaking •Membership on disability advisory councils/boards •Reaching out to Congress about disability rights issues •Gaining qualifications/credentials in Special Education, Disability Rights Studies, and/or Trauma-Informed Care and Education •Just showing genuine respect for everyone in the disability community even if it is just small acts" is in left-aligned red text. "(Always research nonprofit organizations in advance for legitimacy.)" is in dark blue text immediately after "Making donations and/or hosting fundraisers." My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





    Some of the many different ways to be a true disability advocate include the following:

🤳🏻Posting, reading, liking, commenting on, and following content advocating for the disability community



🗓Going to events that support disability awareness and inclusion
    Whether in-person, virtual, or a little bit of both, going to events that support disability awareness and inclusion can be a way to show support for the disability community as a true disability advocate. Of course, only do so if transportation is available to you and if you are financially able to afford transportation if free transportation is inaccessible to you.


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💵🏥Making donations and/or hosting fundraisers
    Raising money for a good cause can make a big difference in the lives of individuals in the disability community when it comes to being able to afford assistive technology and other resources. Of course, once again, only donate and/or host fundraisers if you are financially able to do so.


🙋🏾‍♀️Volunteering
If your schedule and physical energy and overall health allows


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🗣Motivational speaking
If you feel comfortable doing so


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🏫Membership on disability advisory councils/boards





🏛Reaching out to Congress about disability rights issues


🍎📜🧠Gaining qualifications/credentials in Special Education, Disability Rights studies, and/or Trauma Informed Care and Education
    Gaining qualifications/credentials in Special Education, Disability Rights studies, Trauma Informed Care and Education, and/or other similar fields of study can help build knowledge about ways to support the disability community.


🫱🏿‍🫲🏻Just showing genuine respect for everyone in the disability community even if it is just small acts
    Even if it is just letting them into activities for people of all abilities, being a true friend to them, following their accommodations and adaptations, giving them specially designed instructions to meet their needs, standing up for them when they are being mistreated, acknowledging that their disabilities are real, and giving them the same opportunities as everyone else


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[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There is a medium skin toned person in a motorized wheelchair, light skin tone ear wearing a hearing aid, and light skin toned female with blonde hair and a cane (left to right) at the top of the image. "However, there are certain ethics, values, morals, and other qualities that are needed to be true disability advocates." is in left-aligned dark blue text below the person in a wheelchair, ear wearing a hearing aid, female with a cane. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





    Like I said in the beginning of this blog post, no true disability advocates need to do all of these types of disability advocacy work to be true disability advocates! To reiterate, just showing and following all of the genuine character traits, values, morals, and ethics that are required to make true disability advocates that I have listed below is good enough as well. Even small acts of kindness can make a big difference.



                   
[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There is a brain with sunflowers attached to the right side of it in the top left corner of the image. "Values, Morals, and Other Qualities Needed to be a True Disability Advocate:" is in left-aligned red text on the right side of the brain with sunflowers attached to it. The values, morals, and other qualities are numbered from #'s 1-8 in red text. "Has at least some knowledge about disabilities and shows that they are receptive to learning more even if the knowledge is very limited" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 1. "Kindly educates people about the disability community even when people say the wrong things without jumping to shame -" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 2 followed by "Accountability requires compassion and patience; not just seeking discipline" in light blue text. "Acknowledges that every disability journey is different just like every person is different" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 3. "Acknowledges that not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or watching a person" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 4. "Acknowledges that disabilities are nothing to be ashamed of" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 5. "Follows individual accommodations and adaptations and cooperates with service providers, Special Educators, other necessary professionals, individuals in the disability community, and their family to provide accessibility" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 6. "Knows about and follows all disability rights laws at all times" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 7. "Acknowledges that disabilities do not define people meaning that they are not the only part of people in the disability community and do not make them completely incapable" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 8. There is a light skin toned female with ginger hair and a manual wheelchair and medium skin toned male with a prosthetic arm and cane (left to right) on the bottom right side of the image. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





1. Has at least some knowledge about disabilities and shows that they are receptive to learning more even if the knowledge is very limited
    While true disability advocates should have background knowledge about disabilities in order to know how to show support, no true disability advocate knows everything about disabilities. This is because they are human too and it is impossible for any human to be perfect. Every true disability advocate has different levels of knowledge about disabilities because every person is different. While some disability advocates are more knowledgeable than others depending on what their exposure to learning about disabilities looks like, all disability advocates should be willing to continue learning more about disabilities no matter how much background knowledge they have about the topic.


2. Kindly educates people about the disability community even when people say the wrong things without jumping to shame
As stated in this graphic, holding people accountability requires compassion and patience; not just discipline. Before jumping to the conclusion that every single person carelessly says the wrong thing about the disability community on purpose and shaming them for ableism, true disability advocates should start out by kindly educating people about the correct information. If you discover that the person is continuing to do these out of line things even after being corrected, then calmly call them out for it and distant yourself or cut them off completely if needed to protect your well-being.


3. Acknowledges that every disability journey is different just like every person is different
    Acknowledging that every disability journey is different just like every person is different is needed in order to show acceptance and support for each person's individual needs.


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4. Acknowledges that not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or observing a person
    It is extremely important to acknowledge that not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or observing a person. Symptoms do not show up exactly the same for every single person in the disability community. Symptoms of disabilities may be less obvious just by looking at them or may occur less frequently or intensely for some people in the disability community. Disabilities that show up less obvious with subtle signs are called invisible disabilities.

    For example, not all disabilities require people to use a wheelchair, walker, cane, crutches, hearing aid, adapted eyewear, Braille, Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS), service animal, or Sign Language. Not all chronic illnesses require people to wear a feeding tube during all hours of the day or visible stoma bag. In fact, many stoma bags can be worn under clothing and designed as small. Some people may even choose to opt out of using any these assistive technologies and certain strategies for many different personal reasons. A person who stutters may not stutter as frequently as some other people who stutter. Another example is that a person with Tourette's Syndrome may have involuntary tics that do not occur as frequently as the tics of other people with Tourette's Syndrome. Their specific tics may also be more subtle than other people's tics. A third example is that while every individual who has Down Syndrome has physical bodily features as part of this disability, people with mosaic Down Syndrome have less physical bodily features than people with trisomy 21 Down Syndrome and translocation Down Syndrome. There are also plenty of other disabilities that show up without having physical bodily features or obvious actions. Some people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are too afraid to speak up about their trauma(s) depending on the details of the trauma and if they have any other disabilities that affect their communication and other social-emotional skills while others may speak up right away or years later. Some people in the Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) community or who are on the autism spectrum may also internalize their negative thoughts or struggles instead of speaking up about them. They may do this due to social anxiety, fear of judgement, lack of support, and/or communication barriers. Savant skills are also common in not all but many autistics/people with autism/ASD/people on the autism spectrum along with people with Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) and intellectual disabilities (ID). Since savant skills are a type of giftedness, this part of being on the autism spectrum/autistic/having autism/ASD may actually cause this part of these individuals' disabilities to help them.

    In addition, not all people in the disability community need constant one-on-one supervision by someone while some other people do. Many people in the disability community are very capable of independence if provided with a certain amount of exposure to build this necessary skill. There are also many people in the disability community who have come a long way after working on themselves for many years. Each person's needs are different whether they are in the disability community or not and what is required for them all depends on how profound, severe, mild, moderate, or minor their struggles are.


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5. Acknowledges that disabilities are nothing to be ashamed of
    Disabilities should not be treated as something "bad" or "sad." Everyone has differences, disabilities are a difference, and differences are something to be proud of. It is important to use a diagnosis as an opportunity to find answers as to why people in the disability community do the things that they do in order to accept them instead of something "bad" or "sad." This is also necessary in order to identify necessary adaptations to provide to help individuals in the disability community reach their full potential. In fact, many people in the disability community do not want people to feel sorry for them and do not see their disabilities as "something wrong" with them. This is because even though disability journeys are not an easy road, it is okay to be different. Everyone who is supposed to be in the support systems of people in the disability community should avoid fixating on only what they cannot do. Life with disabilities is not all or nothing because disabilities are not the only part of anyone in the disability community. There should be a balance between focusing on the limits, challenges, capabilities, and strengths of everyone in the disability community. When it comes to education and life for people in the disability community, everyone in their support system should want them to do the best that they can do. They should not be expected to be able to do every little thing possible while also encouraged to try to do things and what they can do deserves to be acknowledged. For example, if they get an A, they get an A and if they do not get an A or other passing score or something else does not work for them, figure out what does work for each individual. What someone is able to do depends on their mental capacity and physical abilities.

    In addition, improve and get better does not always mean "fixed" or "cured." Improving and getting better at something means that over time every individual develops, gains more knowledge and experience, and becomes educated. Improvement is a good part of disability journeys because people who improve can become successful and learn a lot. Hard work can pay off over time even if takes it many years to achieve something. People in the disability community who improve think of all of the obstacles that they have successfully navigated through to become successful people. Individuals in the disability community should be provided with exposure to real-world situations in order to work on themselves. If someone is willing to put in the effort to try (not the same as being unable to do certain things for involuntary reasons), they will become more educated and knowledgeable. To do nothing will result in nothing because nothing changes without change.


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6. Follows individual accommodations and adaptations and cooperates with service providers, Special Educators, other necessary professionals, individuals in the disability community, and their families to provide accessibility
    I would like to acknowledge that sometimes it is okay to stand up to service providers, Special Educators, other necessary professionals, individuals in the disability community, and their families if they are saying something that you do not agree with for valid reasons. It is also okay to do this if they are doing something that is out of line. While professionals receive continuous training, they are not always correct about everything because of trial and error and they are human too and again, no human is perfect. While individuals in the disability community have lived experiences with disabilities, they are not always correct about everything disability-related either because no disability journey is exactly the same. Like I said in #3, every disability journey is different. So, while people in the disability community can have similar disability-related experiences, especially if they have the same exact disability or disabilities, their overall disability journeys will never be 100% the same. While families may have known their child since birth or the day that they adopted them and may have been raising their child and assisting them on their disability journey along the way for many years, they are not always correct about everything disability related. They do not have all of the facts either. Again, they are only human too and it is impossible for any human to be perfect. However, it is important for every person involved in the support system of individuals in the disability community including the individual in the disability community themself to try to put in a collaborative and proactive effort to work together as a team. This is necessary in order to provide fair and reasonable accessibility, inclusion, and build a future for each individual in the disability community.


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7. Knows about and follows all disability rights laws at all times


8. Acknowledges that disabilities do not define people meaning that they are not the only part of people in the disability community and do not make them completely incapable of nothing




                 
[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There is a brain with sunflowers attached to the right side of it in the top left corner of the image. "(Continued)" is in left-aligned light blue text on the right side of the brain with sunflowers attached to it. "Values, Morals, and Other Qualities Needed to be a True Disability Advocate:" is in left-aligned red text below "(Continued)." The values, morals, and other qualities are numbered from #'s 9-16 in red text. "Takes people in the disability community seriously by treating them with the same respect as everyone else and trying to stand up for people in the disability community when they are mistreated" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 9. "Lets people in the disability community share their opinions and feelings about different disability-related and non-disability-related topics and situations and shows care for their opinions and feelings" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 10. "Treats people in the disability community as their ages while also incorporating developmentally appropriate stuff" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 11. "Gives people in the disability community chances to try to participate in the same opportunities as people of all abilities" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 12. "Lets people in the disability community have a diverse group of friends, relationships, and connections" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 13 followed by "people in and outside of the disability community and of different races, nationalities, religions, political parties, socioeconomic statuses, identities, sexualities, etc." in light blue text. "Acknowledges that inclusion is both letting people in the disability community into social situations for everyone of all abilities and a sense of belonging" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 14. "Shows an understanding of disability culture" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 15. "Celebrates disability pride" is in left-aligned dark blue text next to 16. There is a light skin toned female with ginger hair and a manual wheelchair and medium skin toned male with a prosthetic arm and cane (left to right) on the bottom right side of the image. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





9. Takes people in the disability community seriously by treating them with the same respect as everyone else and trying to stand up for people in the disability community when they are mistreated
    This is what being a true bullying prevention advocate looks as well. This moral is also important when it comes to acknowledging that the whole disability community is human too.


10. Lets people in the disability community share their opinions and feelings about different disability-related and non-disability related situations and shows genuine care for their opinions and feelings
    It is important to give people in the disability community the chance to share how they feel about changes and implementations even when making those changes and implementations are not a choice, especially if they are necessary. Taking someone's feelings and opinions into consideration is not just always giving that person their way, letting them do whatever they want, and discontinuing something all because the person expressed that they did not want to do it. While this is needed sometimes depending on the scenario, taking someone's feelings and opinions into consideration can also be providing them with continuous social-emotional and overall support while educating them that sometimes everyone needs to do things that they do not want to do. This is especially true if those needs are for protective, health, safety, and legal purposes.

    Sometimes if person does not want to or is against doing something, they may also have misconceptions that need to be debunked through explicit explanations to understand what they are being told that they need to do. This is especially true if they are a minor who may have limited knowledge, understanding, and experiences when it comes to the world. Explanations about what is happening should always be provided to people in the disability community to provide clarity and predictability so that they know what to expect. This is also important in order to avoid rail roading them, which is forcing someone to do something quickly or without enough correct, clear information. Refusing to do so looks like you have something to hide. Also, minors cannot always be given a choice or get their way for legal purposes. In this case, adults have the final say about what is happening and the adults making the final say may be what is best for the family if appropriate. For example, if a child with disabilities needs to be pulled out of a school that is not providing them with necessary support and the child does not want to leave the school, their parents may decide to pull them out to protect them from any danger. This is especially necessary when it comes to abuse and neglect, which the disability community are at risk for experiencing. In addition, not all but some people in the disability community do not always have the mental capacity to make all decisions for themselves even when they become adults, which may result in another adult needing to have legal guardianship over them. Legal guardianship gives another adult the right to make decisions for a person in the disability community. Even in this case, the person who holds legal guardianship over a person in the disability community is legally required to tell the person that they have legal guardianship over them and explain what this means. They are also required to let them when they make certain decisions for them, all of the reasons as to why these decisions were made and let the person in the disability community share their thoughts and feelings about it. Also, while everyone has role models and mentors, the important role models and mentors are supposed to be a child's parents. Parents are supposed to set a good example.


11. Treats people in the disability community as their ages while also incorporating developmentally appropriate stuff


12. Gives people in the disability community chances to try to participate in the same opportunities as people of all abilities


13. Lets people in the disability community be exposed to diverse groups of people as peers, friends, relationships, and other connections
    It is important and healthy to provide people in the disability community with exposure to connecting with peers, friends, and other people of all differences and building relationships with them. These people of all differences that they should be exposed to should include people in and outside of the disability community and people of different races, nationalities, religions, socioeconomic statuses, identities, sexualities, etc. While people in the disability community are at risk for facing discrimination, they are also capable of meeting many kind, inclusive, and helpful people along the way. People in the disability community are capable of being in the same room, near and sitting at the same tables with peers of all abilities –– not just people in the disability community. People in the disability community are capable of making and keeping friends of all abilities when consistently exposed to learning how to build social skills. Many people in the disability community can be capable of being in and keeping romantic, platonic, and professional relationships and connections with people of all abilities. It can be good exposure to connect with people with similar lived experiences. However, exposure to only fellow peers in the disability community all the time is segregation. There should be a balance between the two for the purpose of true inclusion. Exposure to listening to and observing diverse thought processes can also help people in and outside of the disability community grow. In addition, it is important to acknowledge that everyone is diverse and that diverse means every individual with and without certain differences. Everyone's differences matter equally.


14. Acknowledges that inclusion is both letting people in the disability community into social situations for everyone of all abilities and a sense of belonging



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15. Shows an understanding of disability history and disability culture
    Disability history is the discovery of specific disabilities, updates about the details of disabilities, and advancements when it comes to accessibility, disability rights laws, protocols, and inclusion. Disability culture is people in the disability community's different lifestyles, sense of identity and belonging, celebrating disability pride, special interests, and capabilities. Understanding of disability history and disability culture is important in order to know why people in the disability community do the things that they do. Disability history and disability culture is often left out of culturally responsive practices and discussions about culture. Unfortunately, talking and learning about disabilities is often dismissed as "weird", "annoying", "boring", or "not cool or hip." Not all but many people do not want to hear about disability history and disability culture or recognize that disabilities are a part of reality when welcome to reality because this is reality. While no one needs to know every little thing in order to be a true disability advocate, they show an understanding about disability history and disability culture to a certain extent the best that they can even if their knowledge is limited. They should also be continuously willing to learn and acknowledge that disability can be a natural part of human life.


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16. Celebrates disability pride
    Disability pride is needed to celebrate people in the disability community, their contributions to society, and end the stigma surrounded by disability. Many people see their disabilities as good part of them and as something that helps them. Many people in the disability community take pride in their differences.


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[Image Description: The background of the image is light orange. There is a restroom sign with a stick figure person on it to represent invisible disabilities, brain, light skin tone ear wearing a hearing aid, prosthetic arm, and prosthetic leg (left to right) at the top of the image. "All of the Ethics Needed to be a True Disability Advocate:" is in left-aligned red text below the restroom sign, brain, ear wearing a hearing aid, and prosthetics. "•Honest •Respectful •Open-minded •Bias free •Empathy •Patient •Compassionate •Leader instead of only a follower •Responsible •Caring •Cooperative •Flexible •Perseverance •Resilient •Inclusive •Kindness •Accepting •Pride •Obedient •Trustworthy •Selfless •Professionalism" is in listed in left-aligned red text split into two columns. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner of the image.]





1. Honest
    It is important for all true disability advocates to practicing what they preach meaning that they say what they mean. When a person does practice what they preach, it looks like they are not telling the truth about their views and character. It is also ingenuine. This is misrepresentation of character and all true disability advocates should tell the truth about their character traits, morals, ethics, and philosophies. Nobody wants a disability advocate who just says that you are going to do something, and then, does not do it. This is being dishonest, and honesty is needed in order to be loyal and trustworthy (See more about this in #20).

    For example, someone who claims to be a true disability advocate that says that they will not make fun of people for their disabilities should not then laugh at autistic people for repetitively clapping or nail biting as stims or their subtle involuntary tics as part of Tourette's Syndrome. Another example is someone who claims to be a true disability advocate that says that they will recognize that not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or watching someone should not then tell people that they "don't look disabled" or say this when they are not around and insist that every disability journey is the same. If some disabilities are obvious and some disabilities are not obvious and there are millions of different disabilities, then that makes it impossible for every disability journey to be the same. A third example is someone who claims to be a true disability advocate that says that they will follow the accommodations and adaptations of all people in the disability community should not then be impatient when someone in the disability community needs extra time to finish tests, quizzes, assignments, and do tasks or laugh at their needs. They may not be able to answer all of your text messages immediately if they take longer to communicate and find the time to answer due to their difficulties with time management skills as part of their disabilities. They may also need an agenda/list of what to say when talking to anyone because they might forget to say important points due to their struggles with working memory (WM). A fourth example is someone who claims that they are a true disability advocate that says that they accept people of all identities should not then force people to identify with People-First Language (PFL), Identity-First Language (IFL), neutrally inclusive language, neither, etc. Everyone identifies differently and it is okay to be different.


    True disability advocates need to recognize how dishonesty impacts other people. True disability advocates should check themselves so that they make sure that they are being honest. They should also self-evaluate to make sure that they are living their life in an honest way.


2. Respectful
    True disability advocates need to show respect for the disability community when it comes to anti-ableism and anti-discrimination. They need to show respect for individual disability journeys, background experiences, and identities in order to genuinely advocate against prejudice. The whole disability community deserves to be treated with equality and equity. For example, equality for people of all abilities can look like holding everyone including people in the disability community accountable to the same necessary, reasonable, and fair standards, such as all of them needing to follow laws. Equity should look like giving a band aid to someone with a cut on their finger or a cast to someone with a broken body part and acknowledging that people without cuts on their fingers or broken bones do not need these things. Equity can also look like giving an iPad with Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) as an Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC) device to someone who is nonverbal, has limited verbal communication skills, or struggles with articulation while verbal.


3. Open-minded
    Being open-minded is needed in order to avoid prejudice, discrimination, and bias and accept different parts of existence, perspectives, opinions, and ideas. True disability advocates need to be open-minded in order to acknowledge that every disability journey is different. To show that they are open-minded about the fact that every disability journey is different, true disability advocates need to acknowledge that symptoms of disabilities can show up in different ways. To show that they are open-minded about the fact symptoms of disabilities can show up in different ways, they also need to acknowledge that not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or observing someone. To show they are open-minded about invisible disabilities, they need to avoid assuming who is and is not in the disability community at all times. To be open-minded as a true disability advocate, they especially need to take accountability that they are not always right about everything and willing to continue learning.


4. Bias free
    Being a truly bias free disability advocate requires avoiding assumptions about who is and is not in the disability community and what the capabilities and limits of people in the disability community are. It also requires avoiding assuming what people in the disability community are thinking, and what their experiences, interests, likes, and dislikes are.


5. Empathy
    True disability advocates need to show empathy for the disability community by showing that they understand the feelings and thoughts of people in the disability community. True disability advocates who exhibit empathy also put themselves in the shoes of people in the disability community meaning considering themselves in their place and what they might see as wrong or could be improved. To be clear, I would like to acknowledge that when I say what they might see as wrong, I am not saying that disabilities are "something wrong with people" or something to be "fixed" or "cured." When I say what they might see as wrong, I am talking about mistreatment and misconceptions about people in the disability community. For example, nobody wants people who claim to be true disability advocates but punish people in the disability community for involuntary parts of their disability. When something is involuntary, it cannot be controlled. Having empathy helps to get a clearer understanding and create ideas to improve what is happening in the world and lives of individuals in the disability community.


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6. Patient
    People saying that it takes a lot of patience to work with people in the disability community is often criticized. There are even people who argue that patience is not needed to be a disability advocate; however, patience IS NEEDED when working with people in the disability community when people take longer to do things as part of their disabilities and giving extra time as an accommodation. People need to wait until people in the disability community are finished doing whatever they need extra time to do and waiting requires patience. People need to patiently wait until people in the disability community who receive extra time for completing tests, quizzes, and assignments as an accommodation are finished completing these things. People in the disability community often receive extra time for tests, quizzes, and assignments as an accommodation if their disabilities cause them to struggle with slow processing speed, memory, reading, spelling, comprehension, and mathematics. People need to wait until people who stutter are finished talking instead of finishing what they are saying for them before they are finished speaking since they stutter in between as they are speaking making them take longer to communicate than people who do not stutter while still being able to speak. People also need to wait until people with Tourette's Syndrome are finished talking instead of finishing what they are saying for them and complaining about how their tics which are involuntary make them take longer to communicate. Just wait until they are finished and listen to what they are saying. So, therefore, being patient is needed when working with people in the disability community.

    In addition, while it is true that everyone should be patient when working with people in the disability community, unfortunately, this is only true in an ideal world. To elaborate, unfortunately, not everyone is willing to put in the effort that is needed to be patient. That is the unfortunate reality of the world that we live in; however, for the reasons stated above, if someone is not willing to be patient until someone is finished doing something as part of giving them extra time as an accommodation, that makes it impossible for this accommodation to be provided. Nobody wants someone who is impatient and unwilling to wait when necessary for people in the disability community.


7. Compassionate
    True disability advocates need to show compassion in order to provide understanding of the struggles and needs of people in the disability community along with to show empathy and kindness.


8. Leader instead of only a follower
    I would first like to address that leadership is not only present in club presidents, bosses, Presidents, Vice Presidents, and other higher ups. Leadership also needs to be present in advocates for any causes, social media influencers, teachers, counselors, mentors, and any other person who is in the position where they are expected to set a good example, influence, and be a role model to other people. True disability advocates should not only follow the crowd's actions or only do the things that other people are doing just because it looks "everyone else is doing it." What "everyone else is doing" is not always the right thing to do. Leaders should set a good example of what to do and only be a follower when it comes to following disability rights laws, protocols, Individual Education Plans (IEP), 504 Plans, and other policies because these things are required.


9. Responsible
    Responsibility also known as accountability is showing that you are willing to be corrected when incorrect and held liable when necessary. Showing responsibility also requires being willing to learn more and showing it by changing because again, nothing changes without change. Not doing so is irresponsible and sends that message that the person does not care.


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10. Caring
    True disability advocates need to be caring to show that they are willing to support, accept, and want to help the disability community.


11. Cooperative
    True disability advocates need to be cooperative in order to be willing to do as told or asked when it comes to disability rights laws, policies, and needs. Being uncooperative can negatively affect relationships with individuals in the disability community, their families, and professionals who work with them. Being uncooperative can also negatively affect the education of individuals in the disability community and your own continuing education as a disability advocate. This is because lack of cooperation can cause the needs of individuals in the disability community to not be met. Lack of cooperation can also cause goals with the objective to lead individuals in the disability community down the path to achievement to not be met. For example, if someone is not willing to cooperate when told that they need to be patient until someone is finished doing something as part of giving them extra time as an accommodation, that makes it impossible for this accommodation to be provided.


12. Flexible
    People saying that it takes a lot of flexibility to work with people in the disability community is also often criticized and argued as not needed to be a true disability advocate. In fact, sometimes people who struggle with flexibility as part of being rigid as part of their disabilities is often used as an excuse to not be flexible; however, flexibility IS NEEDED when working with people in the disability community when it comes to adapting to their needs. People need to flexible when it comes to being willing to follow the accommodations, adaptations, and specially designed instructions (SDIs) necessary to support people in the disability community. For example, when a person becomes paralyzed, they usually need a wheelchair; so, everyone in their support system needs to go along with this so that the person can survive and navigate the world. Another example is that when a nonverbal autistic person needs an iPad with PECS as a type of nonverbal communication in alternative to verbal communication, everyone in their support system needs to go along with this so that the person's needs can tell people what they want and need to say to the best of their ability. People need to acknowledge how their actions impact other people and if people of all abilities are inflexible when it comes to other people's needs that can create more barriers and make struggles worse for other people in the disability community. Flexibility as part of being a true disability advocate is also needed in order to acknowledge that abilities and limits can change meaning that they can increase or decrease. For example, a sixth grade female on the autism spectrum with ADHD may be unable to independently make a ponytail in their hair due to their difficulty with fine motor skills while many of their same age female peers can; however, then she may master this skill 3 years later after several independent tries on their own time and working on this skill in occupational therapy (OT). Another example is that someone who gets in a car accident may become paralyzed causing them to lose their ability to walk. Some people have also lost their full ability to see caused by severe illness. In addition, someone may have no disabilities before getting a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) that caused them to move down to reading on a first grade level in ninth grade. In order to acknowledge these unforeseen circumstances and changes, flexibility is needed. So, therefore, being flexible is needed when working with people in the disability community.

    In addition, while it is true that everyone should be flexible when working with people in the disability community, unfortunately, this is only true in an ideal world. To elaborate, unfortunately, not everyone is willing to put in the effort that is needed to be flexible. That is the unfortunate reality of the world that we live in; however, for the reasons stated above, if someone is not willing to be flexible as part of being a true disability advocate, that can make it impossible for the needs of people in the disability community to be met. Nobody wants someone who is unwilling to adapt to the needs of people in the disability community.


13. Perseverance
    Perseverance is trying. True disability advocates cannot just immediately give up on people in the disability community every little time something goes wrong. They need to acknowledge that individuals in the disability community can do many different hard things and give them chances to try to do those hard things before identifying their limits. Sometimes it takes continuously doing something even if it is hard or takes long in order to achieve success.


14. Resilient
    Resilience is bravery. A certain calm level of bravery is needed in order to stand up for the disability community when they are being mistreated. While it is okay to be upset when sharing concerns and reporting issues that matter, especially when they are traumatic or life-threatening, people need to be able interpret what people are saying in order to show support. Also, while it can be very nerve-wracking to report and speak up about issues that matter due to intimidation and discrimination, reporting and speaking up about issues that matter is impossible to do without resilience.


15. Inclusive
    True disability advocates need to recognize that inclusion is not just letting people in; they need to acknowledge that inclusion is also a sense of belonging. True disability advocates who care about inclusion give people in the disability community chances to participate in the same activities and opportunities as their peers outside of the disability community before identifying their limits. They are also willing to educate other people about what inclusion looks like and its importance. True inclusion can also provide a safe space for people in the disability community that makes them feel comfortable being themselves.


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16. Kindness
    True disability advocates need to show kindness to gain trust from people in the disability community, their families, professionals who work with them, and other people in their support system. When true disability advocates show kindness, people know that they understand other people's differences and needs and want to show support. Showing kindness can especially help when it comes to meeting emotional needs.


17. Accepting
    True disability advocates need to be accepting of people in the disability community in order to acknowledge and understand that the challenges, hardships, and barriers that they face is their reality. Acceptance is needed in order to recognize disabilities ARE a PART OF REALITY and HUMAN LIFE. In addition, acceptance of people in the disability community is needed to provide them with reasonable, fair, and necessary support.


18. Pride
    Go back to #16 in the "Values, Morals, and Other Qualities Needed to be a True Disability Advocate" section.


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19. Obedient
    True disability advocates need to be obedient when it comes to following disability rights laws, protocols, job requirements, and curriculum guidelines along with adapting to the needs of people in the disability community. In addition, sometimes everyone needs to do things that they do not want to do or are hard to do when it comes to meeting other people's needs. So, they need to continuously try to do so.


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20. Trustworthy
    Honesty and trust go hand in hand. If someone is not honest, they will not be trusted by many people. Not telling the truth can have severe consequences especially in legal situations.


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21. Selfless
    True disability advocates need to be selfless in order to be willing to show concern for other people's needs and wants instead of only their own needs while self-care is just as important. Just like people on airplanes are instructed to put on their own oxygen masks first before helping other people put on their oxygen masks, advocates for any causes need to take care of themselves in order to be able to help other people. For example, people cannot donate money to nonprofit organizations to show their support if they cannot afford to do so. Everyone needs money for themselves too and can only give so much. Being selfless as a true disability advocate means being willing to try to put in the effort to support other people in ways that they can. One way to be selfless that is required for true disability advocates is putting in the time and effort that is needed to learn about what struggles look like for each individual in the disability community when they could be spending their time doing other things. Being willing to put in the time and effort to be patient, cooperative, and flexible when it comes to meeting the needs of individuals in the disability community is also selfless. Choosing to volunteer when and if their schedule allows when they could have spent their time doing other things is also selfless. Willingness to do other advocacy work to make an impact in the lives of individuals in the disability community instead of for personal gain is selfless as well.


22. Professionalism
    All of these character traits, values, morals, and ethics are parts of professionalism that are needed in order to be a true disability advocate. This is especially true in jobs and when it comes to collaborations and trust.


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Questionable "Disability Advocate" Actions and Phrases to Avoid"

[Image Description: The background of the image is pinkish orange with my First Former Buddy Club President logo in the bottom left corner. "Questionable 'Disability Advocate' Actions and Phrases to Avoid" is in center-aligned dark blue text at the top of the image with 3 rows of 4 red flags below it. The first row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Says that they are a disability advocate, does things that would be expected of a disability advocate, and any of the following actions because of people's disabilities", "Says that they do and/or will do any of the things needed to be a true disability advocate never does any of it in reality", "Says that they will avoid doing any of these questionable 'disability advocate' actions and phrases and makes excuses whenever called out for doing them", and "Uses disability advocate merch and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities." The second row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Watches movies/TV shows and/or reads books with disability representation and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities", "Is in the disability community, has family members, friends, and other loved ones in the disability community and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities", "Has background experience volunteering or working job(s) that require working with disability community and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities", and "Forcing people to comply with your own standards and philosophies as an advocate." The third contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Forcing people to do certain things and insisting that they are 'not true disability advocates' if they do not do every little thing", "Not receptive to being corrected when they do anything incorrect as an advocate", "Uses advocate opportunities just for attention, to take advantage of people in the disability community, and/or other ulterior motives", and "Expects things in return for the advocacy work that they do."]





🚩Says that they are a disability advocate, does things that would be expected of a disability advocate, and any of the following actions because of people's disabilities
    Acting this way is not taking being a disability advocate seriously when disabilities are indeed serious.


🚩Says that they do and/or will do all of the things needed to be a true disability advocate and never genuinely does any of it in reality
    When people say that they do and/or are going to do something, the people who they tell this to or hear them say this are relying on them to do what they said they already do or would do. Saying that you do and/or will do good things, and then, never genuinely doing them in reality is being unreliable, dishonest, unable to be trusted, irresponsible, and also not taking being a disability advocate seriously. Acting this way also makes you look like you do not care. This is the message that saying that you do and/or will do all of the things needed to be a true disability advocate and never genuinely doing any of it in reality sends people even if you do care.


🚩Says that they will avoid doing any of these questionable "disability advocate" actions and phrases and makes excuses whenever called out for doing them
    Again, advocates for all causes need to practice what they preach. Saying that one is a true disability advocate and that will avoid doing any of these questionable "advocate" actions and phrases, but then, making excuses whenever called out for doing them is being dishonest. It is also not taking being a true disability advocate seriously and looks uncaring and selfish. This looks selfish because making excuses after promising to have certain advocate philosophies is lack of consideration for how these actions impact other people.


🚩Uses disability advocate merch and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities
    It takes more than just purchasing and using disability advocate merch to be a true disability advocate. While this can be impactful visual representation and support, people need to show that they are true disability advocates through how they genuinely treat people in the disability community. Nobody wants to recognize someone wearing disability advocate merch who they see mistreating people in the disability community as a true disability advocate. This is also misrepresentation of character and dishonest.


🚩Watches movies/TV shows with disability representation, and/or reads books with disability representation, and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities
    It takes more than just watching movies/TV shows with disability representation and reading books with disability representation to be a true disability advocate. Movies, TV shows, and books can be wonderful ways to gain further insight about what life is like for people in the disability community, especially when it comes to the challenges and joys that they face; however, again, people need to show that they are true disability advocates through how they genuinely treat people in the disability community.


🚩Is in the disability community, has family members, friends, other loved ones in the disability community and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities
    Every lived experience is different, which is why every disability journey is different and no one with these lived experiences has every single fact about disabilities. No one has met every single individual in the disability community in the world since the disability community consists of 1 billion people worldwide.


🚩Has background experience volunteering or working job(s) that require working with the disability community and does any of the following actions because of people's disabilities



🚩Forcing people to comply with your own standards and philosophies as an advocate
    Unfortunately, we live in a world with people who think that they are always right; however, since no one is perfect as part of being human, it is impossible for anyone to always be right about anything. To reiterate what I mentioned in the beginning of this blog post, there is not one way to be a true disability advocate. There are many different optional ways that people can show genuine support to be true disability advocates along with certain character traits, values, morals, and ethics that are required of them. True disability advocates every single same philosophy to be true disability advocates and this needs to be accepted.


🚩Forcing people to do certain things and insisting that they are "not true disability advocates" if they do not do every little thing
    What it takes to be a true disability advocate is not all or nothing. Like I said, there are many different ways to show being a true disability advocate and only certain required character traits, values, morals, and ethics. Some people may not be in the stable financial state to donate as a disability advocate or be able to go to events to support the disability community if they are single parent to multiple sick children with no one else to watch them; however, people with these uncontrollable circumstances (at least at the time) can show that they are true disability advocates through how they treat people in the disability community whenever they encounter them. Trying to force people to do certain things and insisting that they are "not true disability advocates" if they do not do every little thing can even be harassment and violation of boundaries if it becomes repetitive.


🚩Not receptive to being corrected when they do anything incorrect to support the disability community


🚩Uses advocate opportunities just for attention, to take advantage of people in the disability community, and/or other ulterior motives
    Disability advocates can receive positive attention for the work that they do; however, they should be doing all of the advocacy work that they do because they care about supporting people in the disability community –– not just to look good and get attention. This is something that I discuss further next.


🚩Expects/demands things in return for the advocacy work that they do
    True disability advocates should be doing all of the advocacy work that they do because they want to make an impact in the lives of people in the disability community without expecting or demanding things in return. They should show all of the previously stated ethics and do all the things that are morally right of disability advocates because they are the right thing to do.



[Image Description: The background of the image is pinkish orange with my First Former Buddy Club President logo in the bottom left corner. "Questionable 'Disability Advocate' Actions and Phrases to Avoid" is in center-aligned dark blue text at the top of the image with 3 rows of 4 red flags below it. The first row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically abuses the disability community", "Emotional, educational, supervisory, medical, and/or physical neglect of the disability community", "Does not give people in the disability community chances to show their potential nor recognize it when shown", and "Refuses to give people in the disability community chances to advocate for their needs, wants, opinions, and feelings if able." The second row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Inflexible about following disability rights laws, accommodations, adaptations, and/or allowing services, such as therapies", "Forcing medications, services, institutionalization, group memberships, etc. without legal guardianship over the person", "Talks to and treats people in the disability community like they are babies or younger than their actual age", and "Only shows support for themselves, their child, and/or some people's disabilities without taking other people's disabilities, well-being, and/or needs and barriers into consideration." The third contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Excludes people in the disability community from all-inclusive activities and opportunities", "Does not let people in the disability community be exposed to diverse groups of peers, friends, relationships, and connections", "Does not recognize that people in the disability community can have typical strengths, abilities, achievements, and interests that people outside of the disability community can have", and "Does not recognize that people in the disability community can be capable of improvement."]





🚩Emotionally, psychologically, and/or physically abuses people in the disability community


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🚩Emotional, educational, supervisory, medical, and/or physical neglect of people in the disability community


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🚩Does not give people in the disability community chances to show their potential nor recognize it when shown


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🚩Refuses to give people in the disability community chances advocate for their needs, wants, opinions, and feelings if able


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🚩Inflexible about following disability rights laws, accommodations, adaptations, and/or allowing services, such as therapies


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🚩Forces medications, services, institutionalization, group memberships, etc. without legal guardianship over the person
    FYI this is not the same as following legally eligible guardianship rights over someone. Not giving people in the disability community choices to do these things without guardianship over them, not telling someone that you have guardianship over them, and abusing guardianship rights is illegal in the United States.


🚩Talks to and treats people in the disability community like they are babies or younger than their actual age
   All people in the disability community are human and have plenty of age-associated qualities and abilities even if it is the small stuff.


🚩Only shows support for themselves, their child, and/or some people's disabilities without taking other people's disabilities, well-being, and/or overall needs and barriers into consideration
    Avoid being one-sided.


🚩Excludes people in the disability community from all-inclusive activities and opportunities


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🚩Does not let people in the disability community be exposed to diverse groups of peers, friends, relationships, and connections


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🚩Does not recognize that people in the disability community can have typical strengths, abilities, achievements, and interests that people outside of the disability community have
    Contrary to popular belief, people in the disability community can have plenty of typical similar strengths, abilities, and achievements, and interests that people outside of the disability community have besides their struggles. While many people in the disability community are introverts, there are also plenty of people in the disability community who are extroverts, love talking, and have savant skills in calendars, art, technology, science, math, spatial skills, history, music, theatre, and memory. Many people in the disability community are also capable of reading, spelling, correctly answering questions in class discussions as part of lessons, studying, getting good grades, playing sports, and exercising. As people in the disability community get older, many of them are also capable of learning to drive (with necessary adaptations and visual hands-on learning), getting accepted into and graduating college, scholarships, and jobs with high paying salaries, and developing confidence and independence. People in the disability community can also have beauty on the inside and outside, make and keep friends, and develop improvement in their motor skills, communication, and other skills over time. Not acknowledging this treats these qualities as unimportant parts of the whole disability community and only important and worthy of recognition in people outside of the disability community. Everyone deserves equal recognition of these qualities when they have them.


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🚩Does not recognize that people in the disability community can be capable of improvement
    Improvement means capable of growing in developmental areas that a person may struggle in. It is important to recognize what improvement really can look like in individuals in the disability community even if it means that they take longer to do things. There are different things that will be both hard and easy for them and each day and moment will be different. If some things are easy for them, this does not mean that that they do not have any disabilities; things that are easy for people in the disability community are their areas of strengths whereas the areas that they struggle in are areas of improvement. Not recognizing that someone in the disability community is capable of improvement can mean denial of their potential and be a violation of boundaries if blocked from access to resources to work on themselves. People in the disability community should be given multiple chances to work towards improvement before identifying their limits.


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[Image Description: The background of the image is pinkish orange with my First Former Buddy Club President logo in the bottom left corner. "Questionable 'Disability Advocate' Actions and Phrases to Avoid" is in center-aligned dark blue text at the top of the image with 3 rows of 4 red flags in the first 2 rows and 3 red flags in the third row below it. The first row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Uses their own, their child's, and/or some people's disabilities (and trauma) as an excuse to treat people badly", "Makes fun and/or insults the disability community", "Does not accept the disability community for who they are", and "Makes assumptions about who is and is not in the disability community." The second row contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Uses other ableist or derogatory language directed towards the disability community even after being told why this is harmful to say", "Does not recognize that every disability journey is different and other parts of intersectionality", "Does not accept people in the disability community for identifying with People-First Language, Identity-First Language, or neutrally inclusive language", and "Does not accept people for identifying with disability culture symbols." The third contains the following below each flag in left-aligned dark blue text: "Treating people's disability rights as bothersome, too expensive, and a waste of time and resources", "Insisting that disabilities can "go away", and "Does not set realistic goals."]




🚩Uses their own, their child's, and/or some people's disabilities (and trauma) as an excuse to treat people badly
    Disabilities, trauma, and any other hardships never make it okay to treat anyone badly. Disability, trauma, and any hardships are also not an excuse to get out of doing things or get away with stuff, especially disrespect. Using disability, trauma, and any other hardships as an excuse to disrespect anyone is toxic. Everyone of all backgrounds need to treat everyone how they would want to be treated and think about how their actions impact other people. People have feelings and invalidating anyone's feelings and hardships and choosing not to put in effort to think about how their actions impact other people is disrespectful, ignorant, biased, and selfish. Everyone also needs to learn that actions have natural and logical consequences. So, everyone needs to be held accountable for how they treat other people impacts them. It is important for everyone to acknowledge how using disability, trauma, and any other hardships as an excuse for any type of disrespect will harm other people with and without visible and invisible disabilities. This is still needed even if they have not opened up to you about any disabilities, trauma, and/or any other hardships because everyone has feelings, some of which are more sensitive than others. Words are not "just words" and even if people think that and while it is true that everyone is entitled to their own opinion even if we do not agree with them (and we also unfortunately live in a world with people who think that they are always right), everyone needs to acknowledge that their actions have consequences whether they like it or not.


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🚩Makes fun of and/or insults the disability community


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🚩Does not accept the disability community for who they are


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🚩Makes other assumptions about who is and is not in the disability community
    Not all disabilities are obvious just by looking at or observing someone or show up in the same exact way as other people's disabilities do. When someone's disability is less visible than other disabilities, this is called an invisible disability. In fact, disability is actually the largest minority group that anyone can join at any time due to disabilities that can develop later on, late diagnoses, and self-diagnoses. Telling someone that they "don't look disabled", "seem normal", and/or "too smart/pretty/successful/perfect/confident/young to be disabled" is ableist and unfair to everyone in the disability community. These statements treat invisible disabilities as not real, unimportant, unworthy of recognition and representation, and like they do not matter. This is the message that these statements send even if you don't say the exact words "It's not real", "It's unimportant", "It is not worthy of recognition or representation", or "It does not matter." This is the message that telling someone that they "don't look disabled" sends either way. These are prejudice statements that dismiss, ignore, and invalidate the daily battles that people in the invisible disability community have faced their whole lives and continue to face as part of their disabilities. It is marginalizing the whole invisible disability community. These statements also do not take invisible disabilities and being a true disability advocate seriously.

    All because you do not see every part of someone's disability/disabilities and/or see and/or hear about every part of someone's life does not mean that no disabilities are there. There may be parts of their disability happening right in front of you and you do not know that that is part of their disability, such as the fact that their ADHD and/or autism/Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) causes them to struggle with internalizing and fixating about how hurt they are by someone having of all the nerve to say these prejudice statements. They may appear fine on the outside or even say, "I am fine" after being told these things to avoid arguments. Meanwhile, they are fixating about their struggles as part of their disabilities being dismissed and internalizing their feelings and thoughts about this. You cannot see that though because no one can climb inside of anyone's brain to know what they are thinking and feeling for sure. Then, they may cry their eyes out and have a meltdown five minutes later after you are separated from each other. If you talked to them this way or about other things on the phone, you probably did not see them using a fidget, stuffed animal, or rocking back and forth to stim, twirling their hair, twiddling their thumbs, or pacing as subtle stims, or stimming in other ways on the other end or after the call. These stims may be their way of finding comfort. You probably did not see them struggling with motivation to get out of bed that morning, all week, and for over the past year and a half as part of their anxiety, depression, and symptoms associated with PTSD. You do not see the pain on some of their backs and necks that mysteriously appeared when traumatized by abandonment over a year and a half ago that they still feel every day and is still unable to be diagnosed. You probably did not see their ADHD, ASD, anxiety disorder, and/or chronic illness fatigue after studying all day and/or night or even if it was just for one, a couple, or few hours. You probably did not see the medication that they used to take or currently take for their disabilities. You probably do not see the constipation and buildup of bowel movements as part of their gastrointestinal issues that they struggle with as part of their ASD, PTSD, anxiety, and/or chronic illness(es). You probably did not see ALL of their test scores, how long it takes them to understand things due to slow processing speed, how lost they become when trying to figure out how to pay the tip in restaurants, and all of their other struggles that they internalize and disclose to a limited number of people. You also probably did not and do not see plenty of other things that their disabilities cause them to struggle with depending on how long that you have known them for, how frequently you see them, and/or how much they open up to you.

    Also, people in the disability community ARE normal! Saying, "But you seem normal to me" to someone with an invisible disability or directly referring to other people in the disability as "not normal" dehumanizes people in the disability community. To elaborate, this statement treats people in the disability community as not human. People in the disability community ARE human too! Disabilities do not make people with them any less human. Disabilities ARE part of the norm because they are A PART OF REALITY. Disabilities are real life.

    Saying that someone is "too smart/pretty/successful/perfect/confident to be disabled" also dehumanizes people in the disability community. These statements treat people in the disability community as not smart, unattractive, and unsuccessful. Saying, "You are too smart/pretty/successful/confident to be disabled" also dehumanizes smart, attractive, successful, and confident people and insists that they cannot have problems and must be perfect. Perfection is impossible. This is extremely hurtful to say since there is The Multiple Intelligences Theory and everyone including people in the disability community have strengths and abilities in addition to their struggles while some people struggle more than others. The Multiple Intelligences Theory acknowledges that there are many different ways to be smart that show up in different ways with similarities and everyone's strengths are those smarts. In addition, not all but many people in the disability community can be twice exceptional (2e) meaning that they are in the disability community and gifted. Savant skills also count as giftedness. I also know of and have met many attractive looking people in the disability community. Good looks are also not the only things that count as beauty! Any genuine good qualities count as beauty too and that is not recognized enough as it should be. Telling someone that they are "too young to be disabled" is also age discrimination. People in the disability community are not only senior citizens and veterans. Disabilities are present and diagnosed in all ages.

    "Not considered disabled" can also be a health and safety risk for every individual in the disability community who gets told this. If someone tells someone in the disability community, "I do not consider you disabled," this sends that the message that they are less likely to provide necessary support including acknowledging that their disability is real. If someone with epilepsy gets told this, their seizures could be more life-threatening than they already are if people refuse to acknowledge that this their reality and when it is actually happening for this person. If someone with ADHD or any other mental health condition gets told this, it could also be life-threatening for them in the event that they have hidden suicidal thoughts if people refuse to acknowledge that this could potentially happen and then will be sorry when it is too late. If someone on the autism spectrum, who has mosaic Down Syndrome, or other disabilities that affect social and safety awareness skills gets told this, it could be a health and safety risk for them as well when people do not provide them with necessary assistance in social and safety scenarios.

    Saying stuff like this to people with invisible disabilities are also not compliments and insisting that these statements are compliments sends the message that disabilities are a bad thing. People who say stuff like this to people in the disability community send the message that they view the disability community negatively even if that is not their intention. Even though disability journeys are not easy roads to travel on, disabilities are not a bad thing.

    Meanwhile these people who say things like this are many of the people who talk about how ableism is harmful, insist that people should not be in denial about their own disability/disabilities or family member's disability/disabilities, and say to include people in the disability community; however, making assumptions about who is and is not in the disability community is ableist and being in denial about people's lived experiences with disabilities. Only recognizing people's disabilities and never their other good qualities is also ableist and can be in denial about their potential. Disabilities do not define people meaning that they are not the only part of people in the disability community. It can be very lonely for not all but many people in the disability community and people of all diverse communities if their differences are not recognized and if their differences are the only part that people recognize about them. People in the disability community have talents and other good qualities that make them who they are and are worthy of being recognized as well. It is absolutely important to recognize disabilities for the purpose of awareness, accessibility, and representation; however, there should be a balance between focusing on and beyond individuals' disabilities to be inclusive since their disabilities are not all that they are. Every individual in the disability community deserves the same opportunities as everyone else while meeting them where they are at currently.

    Overall, all of these statements regarding the disability community, dehumanize and demoralize them. What we see about anyone is only a snapshot of their lives if we do not live with them. It is possible to live well with disabilities and all because someone is not as open as you and carries it well does not mean that it is not heavy on the inside and never gets heavy on the outside. All because someone does not have obvious signs that show that they are in the disability community, are currently experiencing and/or have experienced trauma, struggling, or has not opened up does not mean that that is not their lives. Even when someone does open up to you does not mean that what they are saying is the truth, correct, or full story. All because you see something on the news, online, or someone tells you that something is true or untrue about anything does not mean that what is being seen or told is the truth, correct, or full story. In addition, even if someone says that they are telling the truth or right about something does not guarantee that they are telling the truth or correct. In fact, unfortunately, people say a lot of different things and some people who say that they are telling the truth are actually not always truly telling the truth. Sometimes people are also misinformed and/or struggle to comprehend and/or identify the correct words to use to communicate the correct information due to communication barriers as part of disabilities and/or language barriers. So, everyone needs to do their own research whether that is through observations, talking to people with lived experiences or know people with those lived experiences, collecting information, experimenting, reading, etc. to find out what is really happening. Not everything on the internet and what people say in person is real, correct, or tells the full story about their own lives, other people, places, things, and events. People pick and choose what to share for personal reasons and because of free will power and influence and sometimes not all of what they share is the truth, correct, or all the details. People are not always entirely who you think they are and that is not always a bad thing. There may be other small, minor, harmless, or concerning details about them that you do not know about. Continuously telling someone that they "don't look disabled" and questioning this part of their reality after corrected about it can also be a violation of boundaries. So, keep an open mind about what is going on in the world and everyone's lives. So, never assume who does and does not have any invisible disabilities for any of these reasons.


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🚩Uses other ableist or derogatory language directed towards the disability community even after being told why this is harmful to say


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🚩Does not recognize that every disability journey is different and other parts of intersectionality
    Just like every person is different, every disability journey is different, and life will always be that way.

🚩Forcing people to open up about their disabilities and trauma
    The Americans with Disabilities Act gives all people in the disability community in the United States the legal right to choose whether to open up about their disabilities or not anywhere. This legal right is required in their homes, colleges, universities, workplaces, public environments, and with friends and acquaintances. This IS the LAW and ALL LAWS MUST BE FOLLOWED AT ALL TIMES. For this matter, this law also requires teachers and bosses to keep their students and employees' disclosed disabilities confidential meaning private and not allowed to tell anyone. While this law has its pros and cons at times, forcing anyone to open up about their disabilities is not only illegal; it is also coercion and a violation of boundaries even if you do not agree with the person's decision to not open up. No one can be forced to do something even if you do not agree with them and you do not need to agree with their decisions.

    It is invalidating to insist and assume who is and is not in the disability community or are not trauma survivors all because they have never opened up, limit who they open up to, and/or did not open up prior to now. Again, what we see is only a snapshot of everyone's lives no matter how well you are convinced that you know them, how close you are to each other, and how long you have known each other for. While opening up about disabilities can have its benefits, some people choose to limit who they open up about their disabilities to due to fear of discrimination since it is such a common issue. For example, not all but some people in the disability community may not get any job if they disclose their disabilities at work and need a job to get money to pay for their expenses to survive. Forcing people to open up about their disabilities and trauma is also not "just a suggestion" if you keep telling them to do it even after they told you to stop. This actually harassment at this point. It is also not trauma informed since abuse victims tend to be over controlled by their abusers and attempting to force someone to open up can trigger abuse victims since these actions are so similar. All we can do is encourage people, and then, let them decide what to do.


🚩Does not accept people in the disability community for identifying with People-First Language (PFL), Identity-First Language (IFL), or neutrally inclusive language


🚩Does not accept people for identifying with disability culture symbols


🚩Treating people's disability rights as bothersome, too expensive, and a waste of time, effort, and resources


Related Links:


🚩Insisting that disabilities can "go away"
    Disabilities are permanent and always will be permanent.


🚩Does not set realistic goals
    It is important to not treat anyone like they are more or less than what they are whether they are in the disability community or not. No one should be treated like they are capable or incapable of doing anything because everyone has cans and can'ts and everyone's cans and can'ts are different. So, it is important to assess each person's individual strengths, abilities, challenges, and limitations. For example, some people's math learning disabilities are so severe that they are unable to solve the complex higher-level math and chemistry in a timely manner as required in mathematical and scientific fields; however, they might be able to become a mental health counselor or detective. Another example is that a person in a wheelchair or who is fully blind cannot be a firefighter, police officer, or be in the military. They need to be able to run and look out for danger and they cannot do so if they need to stay in their wheelchair and cannot see at all; however, they might be capable of working in an office with provided necessary accommodations and adaptations. A third example is that a person who is fully blind cannot be left alone to teach children of all ages because they are responsible for supervising those students to keep them safe. If they cannot see them at all, then they cannot watch them to keep them safe.





    People should only want to follow and look up to disability advocates who exhibit the character traits, values, morals, and ethics mentioned in the beginning of this blog post. If people see or hear disability advocates doing any of these questionable actions and phrases, less people will probably want to follow, look up to, like, talk good about, and even want anything to do with those individuals. This is especially true if they do any of these questionable actions and phrases repetitively. It is also important to ALWAYS keep in mind that NO ONE EVER KNOWS the full story about who they are talking to or who is watching or listening whether that person is a stranger, if you have a relationship or connection with that person, or someone who you just met. People may say or do things without care and think that no one is watching, listening, or will be negatively impacted and could still be wrong. They may just so happen to say and/or do those things to and/or in front of certain people who are impacted by what they are saying or doing in any way possible. It is also a small world where everyone knows a somebody even if that somebody is themself or coincidental mutual connections. So, better be safe than sorry and always be kind.

    To those of you who continue to genuinely show that you are true disability advocates through these character traits, values, morals, and ethics: Thank you SOOO much for all that you do for the disability community. It is greatly appreciated, so helpful, and meaningful🩷





Original post about different ways and what is required to be a disability advocate uploaded on my Instagram page on February 16, 2025: There is not only one way to be a true disability advocate


Original post about different ways and what is required to be a disability advocate uploaded on my Facebook page on February 16, 2025: There is not only one way to be a true disability advocate


Original post about questionable "disability advocate" actions and phrases to avoid uploaded on my Instagram page on February 23, 2025: Questionable 'Disability Advocate' Actions and Phrases to Avoid

Original post about questionable "disability advocate" actions and phrases to avoid uploaded on my Facebook page on February 23, 2025: Questionable 'Disability Advocate' Actions and Phrases to Avoid






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