The Power and Beauty of Being Alone

[Image Description: The image shows a graphic of a single purple orchid flower on a green stem with green leaves. The background is mint green with a green grass like pattern overlapping. My First Former Buddy Club President logo is in the bottom left corner.]




According to some research that I did, orchids symbolize solitude. So, I made the cover photo of this blog as a single orchid as a way to symbolize the power and beauty of being alone. Read further to find out how I have learned to embrace the power and beauty of being alone after prolonged loneliness.




    Recently, I have been reflecting about my own healing journey. I have been through several different ups and downs throughout my whole life including trauma and nontraumatic acutely stressful events; however, while healing is forever because no one ever fully heals from experiences like these, I have come so far along my healing journey, and I take pride in that. I was lonely during my down time in the beginning of my healing journey, especially after abandonment, domestic abuse, and the end of multiple toxic friendships that occurred all at once; however, this past year I have become so used to being on my own that I do not struggle with loneliness anymore during down time or at all. I have a preference for being alone because I feel more comfortable that way. I used to struggle with loneliness when I lost certain relationships in separate parts of my life. It felt like a void, an uncomfortable silence that I did not know how to fill. It was even daunting for a while, but over time, being alone so frequently became so liberating, transformative, and eye-opening that I have developed an appreciation for the solitude.

    Having no close friends to lean on and being alone has given me more freedom and time to do what I want. Having no close friends to lean on and being alone gives me more time for self-care, reading, writing, exercise, making artwork, relaxing in other ways on my own terms, thinking deeply and exploring my thoughts without interruption, judgment, or invalidation. Having no close friends to lean on and being alone has also given me more time to focus on my career, volunteer, limit my screen time, and spend time with my family since I spent my time was constantly being dictated and peer pressured by adults who were supposed to be my friends. Also, good riddens to all of those relationships that I lost in my childhood and adulthood because those people were toxic anyways and no one should be spending time with people who treat them so negatively. Being alone has given me more power to shape my own life, adapt, survive, and thrive. I have found peace in my own company, learned more about myself, and discovered parts of me that I did not know about myself before. I see being alone as a safe space for self-growth and self-discovery instead of an absence of company. This new love for solitude that has developed over the past year has allowed me to enjoy my own company and find contentment within myself. It has also made me more adaptable, flexible, knowledgeable, and open-minded.

    I often think about growing my current independence as a goal and being alone counts as part of my independence as well. Sometimes people need to be their own hero. To elaborate, while this is a path less traveled, I have become more stronger, self-resilient, self-reliant, and self-accepting. I do not need a safety net of a friendship group to navigate through life's storms. I do not need friends to save my social-emotional well-being. To clarify, none of this means that I am antisocial, do not value friendships, feel emotions, or am unable to form these types of relationships. I love seeking connections and I am always open to doing so when the opportunity arises. I am also not downplaying or not taking seriously how harmful loneliness can be. What I am saying is that I am able to self-soothe and deal with difficulties in other ways without relying and leaning on friends for social-emotional support, approval, or validation. I also cannot make friends appear or be available. Like I said, sometimes people need to be their own hero by relying on themselves. This has equipped me better for facing challenges.

    Lastly, no person's worth is also not tied to the number of friends and connections that that they have. Everyone's worth is tied to their own self-perception and self-respect. Every person's experience with being alone is also different and I encourage everyone to recognize how the power and beauty of being alone can make a strong impact and difference in people's lives. Learning how to accept being alone at times is a life skill as well. I believe that this part of me developed with maturity. As people get older, there are certain things that bother them less or do not bother them at all and as I have gotten older, having no close friends is one of those things that does not bother me anymore. As I have gotten older, there has also been a slow increase in other things that bother me less or do not bother me at all. I especially discovered this once I turned 25 years old when the prefrontal cortex of the brain is fully grown. I believe that this stage of development contributed to this maturity as well. My loneliness is in the past now because I have changed and improved significantly. That was then and this is now. It is done and time to move forward.





You might also enjoy and gain a better understanding about social health by reading my other blog posts linked below:






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