Saying, "You don't look disabled" is stereotyping and prejudice

[Image Description: The image has a light gray background with my First Former Buddy Club President logo in the bottom left corner. "Saying, 'You don't look disabled' is stereotyping and prejudice" is in left-aligned violet text. There is a restroom gender neutral person symbol to represent invisible disabilities below the text.]





    Sometimes all because a person is in a certain role, position, or has a certain background or narrative, it is as if somehow that makes them not allowed to be in the disability community, a trauma survivor, or introverted or that they cannot possibly be part of any of these diverse groups because of that. Like because they are a college student/graduate, teacher, work a certain job, are successful, or have a certain background or narrative, society views that as making it impossible for them to be in the disability community, a trauma survivor, or introverted. People will also insist that certain people "don't look disabled" or deny their disabilities all because they do not experience their disabilities exactly the same as themselves and other people that they know who have these disabilities.


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    For example, they will insist that someone "don't look autistic" because they are not nonverbal, are not in Autism Support or Life Skills Support, or won awards. Another example is insisting that someone "doesn't look deaf/hard of hearing" because they don't wear a hearing aid; however, not everyone can afford a hearing aid or receives proper guidance and education. A third example is insisting that someone "doesn't look like they have cerebral palsy (CP)" because they walk free handed or at all; however, not all people in the CP community need to use a wheelchair, walker, or crutches. A fourth example is insisting that someone "doesn't look depressed" because they smile, work, have friends, or get out of bed; however, you do not see every little time that they cry behind closed doors because they fear judgement and shame if they do so publicly. You are not able to climb inside of their brain to see them internalizing their depression or fawning from workplace bullying when they look like they just ignored rude people. They may have small group of friends which were formed not by the person with depression initiated them because you cannot climb inside of their brain to see their social anxiety. While you may see the days that they do get out of bed, you do not see all of the days that they have struggled and continue to struggle to get out of bed and all because they made it out of bed does not mean that they did not struggle to do so that morning. People will also insist that someone "does not look disabled" or look like they have certain disabilities all because they have never been diagnosed or opened up about their disabilities; however, some people receive late diagnoses for several different reasons and access to support is a privilege. In fact, this constant stereotyping, judgement, and lack of support is one of the reasons why not all, but many people are too afraid to open up about their disabilities.


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    People will also insist that someone cannot possibly be disabled or have a certain disability all because they do not fit a certain stereotype until they see certain visible characteristics. These stereotypes about disabilities include but are not limited to being nonverbal, using a pop-it or arm flapping in public to stim, making more eye contact than others, having a meltdown in public, using a wheelchair, wearing a hearing aid, or being open about going to talk therapy; however, then, sometimes it is ironic that when people with invisible disabilities do show these characteristics, they will be shamed for it by the same or other people. This will happen by being told, "That is only for real disabled people", "You can't do that because you don't look disabled", or anything similar.


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    All of this is harmful because it is biased, ableist, prejudice, and culturally insensitive to say since disabilities are not always obvious, every disability journey is different, and people in the disability community can be capable of success. It denies, ignores, and dismisses their reality, especially when repetitively said after being corrected. This shows a lack of support for people with invisible disabilities who struggle as well in comparison to showing support for people who struggle more. Of all the nerve that not all but many people constantly have to tell people with invisible disabilities that they "don't look disabled" after all they have been through their whole lives and continue to go through every day. People with invisible disabilities deserve support and validation just as much as people with visible disabilities. Also, what a great opportunity it can be to hire a person in the disability community as a teacher. They know what it is like to be disabled/have a disability/disabilities. So, that can help when it comes to them knowing how to show support for students in the disability community. The education field is also supposed to be known for being inclusive and telling teachers that they "don't look disabled" or anything like this all because they are teachers is not being inclusive. This prejudice also does NOT provide a safe space or sense of community and belonging for people with invisible disabilities. This issue that causes a lack of a safe space for people with invisible disabilities is why I post about it so much and I will continue to advocate about it. Enough is enough. The struggles and successes of people with invisible disabilities matter and deserve validation and support too🚻✨


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